It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

That is quite an opening sentence. The first phrase precedes the line made famous by contemporary author, Snoopy, when he adds line two, "A shot rang out." It is also the cornerstone of the San Jose University English Department's annual contest that seeks to discover the worst first line. Originally is was the first line of an 1830 novel titled Paul Clifford by Edward George Lytton-Bulwer...but who really cares.

Here are a few of my favorites from the San Jose first line contest:

-As the subtle smell of baking monkeys filtered through the classroom, I wondered where the science experiment had gone wrong.

-His eyes were brown, although you wouldn't know it just by looking.

-Now, you're all aware of my vocal campaign against the global slave trade, so what I am about to confess may raise a few eyebrows.

And as the judges are quick to ask, "These are the winners?"

And that's what I'm thinking about.