Unsatisfied Grandmothers

This is not a happy blog post.

Usually when I go to my swim class at the YMCA a half hour early, I fall into easy conversation with other women who are early. We float around chatting about life waiting for the instructor to bellow out our first exercise. Usually those chats are light, surfacy kind of conversations with little emotion and less depth.

Not so today.

I found myself caught in a trio, me being the third, of grandmothers, two of whom were having mild to severe grand kid issues with grand daughters.The grands are in their early twenties.

The first has a grand daughter getting married next week. What a coincidence. So do I! We had that in common but there the similarity stopped. In asking about the venue, rehearsal dinner, etc. she told me she had no idea what the plans were. She had not been invited to a rehearsal dinner and thought perhaps there wasn't one, but in thinking that through, felt that there might be and she and her husband had not been invited. She is clueless about the big event and was both hurt and upset that no one had at least given her some basics about the day. She went on to say how she had spent a lot of time with this grand daughter throughout her life and felt shut out now. She felt it had something, like a lot, to do with her daughter keeping plans and events to herself.

When the first grand mother paused for breath the second began and wasted no time in telling us what an ungrateful little snob (my words) she had for a grand daughter. There was, what we call in the church world, a "come to Jesus" meeting at Christmas where the grand daughter accused her of liking her grandson better than she liked her and doing more for him than for her. Instead of denying it, like I would have, she proceeded to tell her grand daughter why that might be so: the grand son calls when he doesn't need anything, visits when he doesn't need anything, hugs her when he doesn't need anything, and on and on.

I felt a little sorry for the first grand mother. I felt a little scared of the second for the more she talked the more agitated she became and the more awful the grand daughter became. And the swim class would not start for ten more minutes.

Yikes! I looked around for the swim instructor to begin the class and save me.

When the rants had subsided, grand mother one looked at me and said, "You do not have these issues with your grand daughters." She said it as a fact, not a question. I guess I've been talking about them now and then.

As I sit here typing, my husband has come in with the mail. Included is a thank you note from our soon to be grand-son-in-law thanking us for "being so generous and taking such good care of us. You two are truly appreciated and loved."

How blessed I am. I almost always recognize blessings but realize the magnitude of them when I listen to others' experiences and then hold in my hand a hand-written expression of thanks.

But then I had a brilliant idea...one of these lightning bolts that one wonders 'where did that come from?' Why not offer a seminar for grand daughters on how to treat grand parents? Girls of 12 and older could be enrolled to help stave off some of this animus of  the later teen/early twenty years. The YMCA, the Girl Scouts, and churches, could offer this training. Who would teach it? Why, these four grand daughters of mine of course.

And that's what I think about it.

"Another Doofus"

This morning, after five inches of torrential rain yesterday, I drove to a rural road that had been closed overnight because of flooding. The 'road closed' sign had been put off to the side of the road which I took to mean that the road was no longer flooded and I headed my vehicle down.

Remember the parting of the Red Sea special effects in "The Ten Commandments"? Up ahead of me a pick-up truck was recreating that scene and ahead of him another vehicle copied the parting.

Four low spots on this road create four lakes of water during a downpour, overrunning the deep ditches on either side of the road. None of the water had soaked into the ground overnight.

I completely forgot, or ignored, my post from yesterday and with abandonment drove into the parade of water spewing vehicles making their way through the flood. I could not see left or right because of the wall of water my tires had thrown up.

It was kind of like being in a car wash.

Yesterday, I called these people doofuses. Today I joined their ranks. Don't judge.

And that's what I think about it.

"The Rains Came Down and the Floods Came Up"

"The rains came down and the floods came up..." is an old camp song which before today was simply that, a tune to sing with hand gestures. Great fun. But today the rains came...with a vengeance.

My husband and I were walking along the riverfront. A lady turtle was busy laying eggs in a carefully crafted hole in the soft soil. First the darkening of the skies then the rumble of thunder. When a bolt of lightening struck the earth I thought twice about holding on to a metal-handled umbrella; do I keep my hair dry or risk being electrocuted? Let's just say I was, and am, having a great hair day. Winds whipped around the water and we made a bee-line for the car.

By the time we returned home the roads and fields were flooded. Police asked everyone to stay off the roads. Although it was implied that it would be hard with the rushing water to stay on the road. When these kinds of things happen our backyard, which is carefully graded to have a drainage ditch that flows into the neighbor's ditch and the into their neighbor's and so on, began to fill up with water.

Kat Karson's legs got short, always a sign and symptom of his anxiety. His pitiful soft meowing does not befit a feline of his size. King of the Beasts, my foot.

The electricity stayed on which doesn't always happen and we rode out the storm at home.

Thirty-nine calls came in for police rescue of stranded motorists, twelve water rescues,18 hazard calls from motorists who were stuck behind abandoned cars on the roadways. These water events always bring out some doofus who thinks that a pick-up truck with a rebel flag, gun rack and hunting dog in it can drive through a flooded roadway and find themselves slowly floating away into ditches and fields and sometimes over bridges. Doofuses!

By the time it took to type out this weather report the rain has stopped and the sun in shining and the clean-up begins. And that's what I think about it.

Ooooh, that was so mean.

My last blog post had some disparaging remarks in it regarding this area of the country, our fair city in particular. I had not made the remarks but some pollster or trender or someone felt it would be a good thing to make some lists pointing out the worst of the worst. Our little town featured in the top ten of a couple of the lists. I want to say more about that...because I think often that those kinds of remarks can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies and mostly they can be motivated by mean-spiritedness....and real ignorance...stupidity....dumbness.

And so the question hanging in the air becomes, "What is good about southern Indiana?"

I am not a native but an implant...or sub-plant...or immigrant. We moved here because the kids moved here and took the grand children with them. We had fine schools and churches in our old area of Ohio but no, the grand children had to go live with their parents. Who wrote the book on that?

Anyway, digression over...there are many things that recommend this area to the casual observer, all of which have been overlooked by those with nothing better to do than to create the "Ten worse...." lists. Shame on them.

There is a dandy zoo here with an Amazonian Rain Forest that showcases wild animals from all around the equator, Amazonian being an adjective and not pertaining to a country in particular. Seven hundred animals are showcased, from six continents on this 50-acre site.

If you like to gamble there is a waterfront casino. If you want to lose big money, not too far up the road is a huge (not exaggerating)  old hotel with another casino nearby.

Our library system is top-notch as a center for learning and has been progressive in the technology required for modern-day informational research.

Two local universities ranked high in many academic fields add to the level of intelligent citizenry.

A world-class symphony provides the highest level of music and dance.

First class theater arrives in season.

Children's theaters give the youngest residents a chance to shine on stage.

Local community theatres provide the same opportunity for adults.

The area is one of the first stops for national restaurant chains to showcase new menu items and for new restaurants to be unveiled, several dozen last year alone. No they did not all make it but provided great cuisine, or at least fun, for the short-term.

A world class arena, Ford Center, offers top-name performers and performances.

Two hours, or less, away one can find St. Louis, Louisville, Indianapolis, and Nashville. We sit right smack dab in the middle of the four of them. Why borrow big city problems when you can get all the benefits with none of the hassle yet be a short drive from any of them?

A six mile 'greenway' winds its way through the city. Soon it will attach itself to the river walk in a neighboring county to increase the enjoyment of living on the river. Forty two miles of trails are available throughout the city.

Two major medical centers provide the finest health care for residents. A designated Heart Hospital, Women's Hospital,  Children's Hospital, Cancer Center, Trauma Centers and top-notch orthopedic services are only minutes away from any  resident.

Right in the middle of town there is a 300-acre nature reserve and recreation area. We boast of 13 historic districts, five museums, 65 parks and 21 recreational areas.

One of our high schools is ranked in the top ten of all high schools in the country.

Our waterfront is the permanent home of USS LST 325 (Landing Ship Tank) used during World War II, an Arctic expedition and by the Greek navy. 

The Fall Festival is the largest street festival in the country. Brain sandwiches (a local crowd pleaser), puppy chow, and every imaginable kind of fried food is featured.

We've got horse racing, drag racing, ice hockey and baseball plus the university teams. We've got the Fantasy of Lights during the holidays and more churches than you can shake a stick at.

The more I add to this list the more curious I become about what those pollsters were thinking when they named us to the most miserable places to live list. This is a grand community. I suppose it's all in your perspective. You look for the negative, focus only on the unfavorable, you can find it anywhere. This is what I often accuse the media of doing, zeroing in on one aspect of a story or event and with bias that they sometimes if not often cannot recognize, claim they have reported both sides of the story. For our little city, to be put on a negative place to live list shows great bias, limited knowledge of life here and mean-spiritedness.

Take that, Business Insider.

And that's what I think about it.

Our Family Graduations and other random stuff

All at once, within a year, six of us have graduated. Perhaps there might have been a surprise or two in the list, but finish strong we did.

Oldest grand daughter, Brittany, graduated from the University of Southern Indiana with her degree in Social Work. Then last summer youngest daughter Lola graduated from Indiana University with her master's degree in library science. Then this Spring second oldest grand daughter Taylor graduated from Milligan College with her degree in elementary education. Then me...the very oldest in the family, finally achieved what I didn't even know was a dream of mine, I graduated from Lincoln Christian University and Seminary with a doctorate degree in ministry. A week later twin, and youngest, grand daughters graduated from Harrison High School. Just today they have enrolled at Indiana University and have their schedules for Fall.

Yikes! Where did the time go?

I have not figured out why our family likes to learn or what draws us to academia. Is that something in the genes? Nature? Nurture?

The minute after I had finished my oral defense of my research and knew that I indeed was going to graduate, I sat at Bob Evans across from my husband. The first thing out of my mouth was, "I now have no goals for my life." "Dr. Wife" does have a nice ring to it.

On other notes, life in southern Indiana has been a little more exciting since the publication of a couple of "10 most..." lists.

In the first poll, Evansville ranked Number One. Uno!  Ein!  We win the prize for being number one on the most obese city in the country poll. Yes, that is right; not the state but the whole thin country. We are Number One.

As if that were not enough to keep the Chamber of Commerce up at night with their advertizing agency, the second poll put us at number seven...we couldn't even break the top five on this poll...on the Ten Most Miserable Places to Live in the Country. Again, not the most miserable in the state of Indiana but the whole darn country. You want misery? Move to southern Indiana.

Both of these polls seem mean-spirited. We probably also have more meth labs than other cities of comparable size. We might break into the top ten on that poll, too. And perhaps we have fewer junkers on the roads and more up on blocks in front yards than other cities.Has anyone counted the number of teeth per adult? Or asked why the libraries have more graphic novels than biographies?

What good are these polls? Most of us didn't know we were living in miserable conditions until we saw the poll. And then, why yes, we did start to notice that some things just weren't right.Our ignorance was shattered by pollsters who, now that most of the elections are over, have to make a living.

And that's what I think about it.