Life Lessons Part 2

Continuing on from my last post finds me in my third decade of life living in California and then back living in Ohio. My next life lesson comes from that era of young motherhood.

It would be cheating to skip this decade or to admit there was no great life lesson learned as there were many but some of them were harsh and unwanted. Looking back harsh lessons are just what are needed sometime to get a person off their duff and moving along a deliberate and upward path.

In my thirties, I learned that one really needs to develop a sense of self separate from everyone else. I learned that I would always be a second-rate somebody else. Now a sense of self may include many of the characteristics that others also have but each individual must select and become their very own unique person since that is exactly how they were created. I learned that children do not necessarily embrace the traits of their parents, whether good or not but they too must not become second-rate somebody else's.

This seems simple looking back but in the midst of pressures and insecurities is it often the last thing on a person's mind. Too often willing to become whatever another thinks they should become without thought to their own makeup or interests, a persona can easily become a poor clone of another or a manufactured mechanical automaton. Neither is able to leave much of a lasting impression for good on the world. I won't bore you with the whole transition except to say that I liked what I became...for the most part. Still working on some areas, but I am who I am, all me, no one else, for better or worse, so there....

That last was a little harsh so I apologize. Notice that I would rather apologize than delete that.

And so we come to my next decade, living in Ohio, working at a variety of the most fun careers, going to school after school (I had wasted much of my undergraduate time and high school being unremarkable) collecting a wide variety of knowledge, some very useful....and some not. However whether is was of use or not was not the main point for me. It was stuff I didn't know and there was a lot of it so I gaily matriculated over and over again and showed up early for every class with sharpened pencils and legal pads of papers (this was before anyone had laptops). Henry Ford said that anyone who stops learning is old whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning is young. I suppose being a life-long learner would be one of the big life lessons from my fourth decade of life which I continue to subscribe to in this current decade.

In my next decade of life, the 50s which were the 90s (think about it, it'll become clear) I continued my happy skipping through college campuses and universities sucking all the knowledge I could. Ah...but there was no other purpose than to gain knowledge and we all know how very dangerous, and also useless, that can be. I knew a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff that didn't matter to anyone. Much of the time it didn't even matter to me. At some point I realized that a purpose for all the learning must be fulfilled and that a shotgun approach to learning was selfish and costly.

And so I learned that with the limited time I had remaining...and who knew or knows how much time that would be, I needed to focus on what was important. I needed to grasp the idea that knowing a lot of information is valuable only if one is writing a dictionary or encyclopedia but not if one wanted to make friends and find a purpose for life. So I settled on the spiritual. That seemed like a universal human trait, whether recognized or not by any individual.

That brings us to the last two decades of my life, one I have lived and the next which I am embarking on. I'll get to those in time. But for now, dear reader, I encourage you to think about your life in ten year segments and although one learns life lessons daily, try to see the big picture that illuminate the lessons you have learned. Then pass those lessons on. Some will listen, others will roll their eyes, some will look askance. Never mind. It's your life. Keep figuring it out.

And that's what I think about it.