A huge dilemma. A lottery ticket worth several hundred million dollars is waiting for redemption. The dilemma? It was purchased at a porn shop. Personally, since it's not my ticket, I chuckle at the dilemma for the ticket holder. What to do?

I often, too often for those of my readers who have access to a DMS IV or later, think about how I would distribute several million dollars won in the lottery. Granted, one must first play the lottery to win the lottery but that aside, I can imagine what it might be like.

First, I would pay my taxes. It is the cost I owe to live in this country and although I am not always or often pleased with the way my taxes are used I pay them with some gratefulness for the freedom experienced in the good old USofA.

Then, I would replace the roof on the house. Oh it's not leaking or anything, just old. It's only a matter of time before it will need replacement so I would get a head start and get it done before tornado season.

I would pay for some college educations for some of my favorite people, including myself and then take them all on a trip, perhaps to Egypt or Indianapolis to see the Colts play. I would give a lot of it away, after all how much does one really need to live the 'good life?'

Or maybe, now that I think about it, I would simply put it in zip-lock baggies and stick it under the mattress, freeze it in ice trays or bury it in the backyard. You can't be too careful with money. Easy come, easy go.

Maybe I would charter a ship and sail the Mediterranean. No, too many pirates.

I would buy a lot of books but then I wouldn't have the time to read them. I would buy a pair of cool boots (I've always wanted a nice pair) and a diamond stud earrings (no, not those, too easily stolen).

Having money presents quite a few hazards. I would need a security system, several banks to hold the funds until I could spend them, body guards (what if someone tried to hold me for ransom?) and a car equipped with a bullet-proof body.

Geez! I think I have just talked myself out of even dreaming of winning the lottery. Good thing I don't play the lottery. And that's what I think about it.