My Mother-in-Law

She was lost after her husband died. He was the center of her life, other than her Lord, protected her, found friends for them to hang out with, hung on himself until he could get them re-settled near family in Ohio from retirement years on the beach in South Carolina.

Then he was gone.

And most of the light left her life.

She stayed in the condo for a time, then needed smaller space to care for and more social interaction. We, the family, encouraged her to move into a Christian retirement home while she was still independent and could drive herself around. She went but told us over and over she just wanted to go be with her husband; she was ready to die.

A few months of adjustment and a few years of 'new normal,' she continued to bake cookies each week for the staff at the Christian Children's Home of Ohio. Indeed, her one comment about the small apartment she was moving to was that the oven was too small to accommodate her baking needs. When my husband, her son, would show up to work at the children's home on Friday the staff would be waiting. That was 'cookie day.' And if he wanted any cooperation from them that day, he had better have the cookies.

Anyway, the apartment got too much for her, she was falling, wandering, losing her way. Assisted living was next, her favorite furnishings moved to one room close to a nurses' station. A cane, a walker, a wheelchair, and a few months of a 'new normal' followed in too rapid succession.

Then nursing care. There was no normal here. Rapidly she declined. Slowly she 'left' us, sitting vacantly in front of the TV, unable to interact. Two days ago she had a major stroke. Today as I type this it is only a matter of days, perhaps hours until my husband calls to tell me that she has gotten her desire. I am happy for her on some level and for the family who have no regrets about their involvement and care for her.

Those who will see her at the funeral home will remember her holiday entertaining, cookies made weeks in advance and frozen, never sitting down for a dinner but up and around making sure plates and bowls were filled. In high school she had the lead in the senior class play. She played a pretty decent game of golf once, won many spelling bees at the christian home, knitted afghans for new moms in Ukraine to wrap their little ones in, planted flowers as a volunteer, stayed in the background and spent her life caring for people.

Soon she will be cared for in the arms of Jesus. It's been her goal for a long time.